With 2013 about to descend upon us, it’s time for a few bold prognostications, as has been the custom in this corner over the years.
The Squamish Sustainability Corp. will continue to hold prolonged meetings to figure out exactly what sustainability means. While they are busy with that undertaking, the world of trade and commerce will relegate the term to the business buzz word trash can, along with other outmoded terminology such as “at the end of the day,” “connect the dots,” “sell the sizzle” and “synergies.”
The new executive board of the Squamish Chamber of Commerce will finally figure out how to conduct itself without engaging in public feuds reminiscent of the classic western flick “Gunfight at the OK Corral.” A similar scenario will play out at the beleaguered Squamish Arts Council.
Amidst the sudden “resignations” of high-ranking district personnel, a replica pirate ship, outfitted with a walkable plank, will be constructed by town officials and moored on the Squamish Oceanfront where it will be commissioned to lend more formality to staff departures in the future.
No matter how much streamlining the district does in 2013 to speed up the handling of development applications, developers will continue to kick and scream about the process.
Over at the Stawamus Chief, access to the trails will be via a lottery system because the area was so overrun by visitors this past summer that lineups and dustups were commonplace.
Two new restaurants will open locally, but an existing eatery will close due to financial woes, or because the proprietor eloped with a member of the wait staff.
A new welcome sign will finally be erected at the edge of town. Practical jokers will still find ways to sabotage it. Eventually, to keep the signage as far away as possible from marauding pranksters, a permanent blimp complete with a welcome banner will hover over the Shining Valley.
The Garibaldi at Squamish four-season resort proponents will ramp up their marketing campaign but no more strudel, chocolate éclairs and fruit custard pies will be served at promotional gatherings because one ungrateful attendee accused the hosts of lacklustre communication skills after a recent PR event.
Live at Squamish, now called the Squamish Valley Music Festival, will contemplate changing the name of the event again until the organizers get it right.
The children’s corner at the Adventure Centre will become so successful that the whole building will be converted to an income-generating daycare and play hub to take advantage of the local baby boom.
In the meantime, as we await the unfolding of the above-mentioned events, have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.