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Squamish stay-at-home dad relishes the role

One in 10 Canadian fathers is a full-time caregiver
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Squamish stay-at-home dad Sean Kozak with his sons.

Many of today’s fathers of young children grew up with a mom who got up in the night when they were sick, prepared meals and cleaned the house. Moms went to the daytime school events and took children to the doctor. 

Dad came home from work and spent some time playing with the kids and perhaps took them out on the weekends. 

But times have changed. 

One in 10 fathers is a full-time, stay-at home dad, according to 2015 Statistics Canada figures.  

In 1976, 1 in 70 Canadian dads were stay at home parents. 

The number of stay-at-home mothers declined in almost every year between 1976 and 2015. 

Sean Kozak is a Squamish stay at home dad. 

“Sean is an incredible dad to our two boys.  We are incredibly lucky to have him,” said his spouse, Kathy Kozak. 

For the Kozaks, the decision for Sean to stay home with their sons Evan, 7, and Chance, 4, started out as simple economics.  

“Basically when Evan was born, financially it is what made sense for our family,” said Kathy, who works for an investment firm; a position that requires she travel for work.  Sean was working in the audio industry at the time. 

As of 2014, in about one-third of Canadian families, the mother earned more than the father, according to Vancouver School of Economics expert Kevin Milligan.

The Kozak’s arrangement continued after their second son was born and while parenting is never easy, the setup has worked out well so far, Sean Kozak said. 

“Just like with any parent, male or female, you get drained and you have to reset your perspective from time to time… but no regrets,” he said. 

Kozak’s own father was in the military and didn’t meet his son until the boy was about nine months old. 

“I think it was in the back recesses of my brain to really enjoy spending time with my kids,” Kozak said. 

The role of fathers is important to how children develop, studies show. 

Time playing, or roughhousing, with dad helps kids learn to, among other things, read emotions, take smart risks, manage strong impulses and cope with frustration and failure, according to a 2016 study by educational psychologist Jennifer StGeorge, a senior lecturer at Australia’s University of Newcastle.

Of course, mothers can do this too and both male and female children benefit, but males typically gravitate to more roughhouse play and boys typically benefit more from it, StGeorge found. 

“Likely men’s preference to play physically in the rough-and-tumble competitive way is linked to evolution,” StGeorge said in an interview. 

The role of the father in the family can also help determine a child’s future, in particular a daughter’s aspirations. 

A 2014 UBC study of  326 children, aged seven-13, found “the strongest predictor of daughters’ own professional ambitions was their fathers’ approach to household chores.”

The study, The Second Shift Reflected in the Second Generation: Do Parents’ Gender Roles at Home Predict Children’s Aspirations?, by then UBC professor Alyssa Croft, suggests girls grow up with broader career goals when domestic duties are shared more equitably by parents. “It is important that dads not only talk the talk about gender equality at home but also walk the walk because their daughters seem to be watching,” she said when the study was published.

Of course, not all families can afford to have either parent stay home. 

Overall, fewer parents are staying home. 

The number of single-earner families with a stay-at-home parent dropped from about 1.5 million in 1976 to less than 500,000 in 2015, according to Stats Can. 

Kozak said as much as his sons may benefit from him being at home, so does he. 

“We’ve both been able to bond with them and it is just a time that you can’t get back,” he said. “It is pretty awesome.”

His plan for Father’s Day is to head out to a bike park with his oldest son. 

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