Despite my continuing penchant for violent video games, superheroes and fart jokes, I am definitely feeling the old I’m-In-My-Mid-Forties blues… with the emphasis on “old.” I’ve gone from spring chicken to graying, grumpy goat in seemingly the blink of an eye. Oh, don’t try to tell me otherwise, because I’ve seen the signs.
I’ll give you an example: Ear hair.
I’m not sure how Darwin would explain the evolutionary benefit from getting thinner on top of my head as I age while at the same time sprouting strange and fast-growing hairs on my ears, but “becoming sexier” certainly ain’t on that list.
My eyebrows and nose hairs have joined the party, too. Seriously, if I didn’t take care of all the various manscaping, I’d look like a cross between a hobbit and a hippie werewolf (easy now ladies, I know what you’re thinking right now, but I’m a happily married man).
Another sign that I’m getting old reared its head just after the Squamish Valley Music Festival (SVMF) announced that there’d be camping for the event in the school fields right beside where I live. Upon hearing the news, I immediately launched into a typical old geezer rant.
“Why weren’t we consulted first?”
“What a terrible idea.”
“What the heck are people thinking?”
“Why is there hair growing from the top of my ears?” (That last one obviously has nothing to do with the SVMF, but it still weighs heavily on my mind).
However, after a bit of searching inward, spiritual contemplation and a couple of Kokanees, I started to wonder what my younger self would think of the whole situation.
“Dude, chill out,” is what I imagine he’d say. “It’s just for a couple days. And, it’s a pretty kick-ass event that brings tons of money into town, plus some wicked big-name performers and musicians. Oh, and by the way… dude, what’s with the ear hair? That’s gross. Are you, like, a hobbit or something?”
Yeah, my younger self could be a bit of a jerk sometimes, but he would be right. I’m pretty sure nobody at SVMF woke up one morning and said, “Hey, I wonder how we can totally inconvenience the fair folk of Squamish today, muahahahahahahaha,” while twirling a villainous moustache. They’re not evil. In fact, the event’s organizers bring something amazing to our little town, enhancing its name and brand.
I think we should give them the benefit of the doubt that they’ll ensure proper security and cleanup at the school campsites… at least let’s give them this year to prove they’ll do it right.
So, yes, I may be getting older — and hairier — but I think I’d like to always remain young at heart when it comes to video games, fart jokes and kick-ass music festivals.
