Actress Loretta Young, a 1948 Academy Award winner, once said, “Love isn’t something you find. Love is something that finds you.”
So, in celebration of Valentine’s Day, we chatted with six local couples about how they found their Mr. or Mrs. Right and what keeps their relationship strong – even after 60 years.
The couples range in age from their 20s to 70s and each have a unique way of keeping love alive, especially after storms have past. Even though they are from different generations, there is a common theme to making relationships last. Read on to find out.
20s: Kevin McDonald and Kimberley Kamp
In 2014, when Kimberley arrived in Japan from Sydney, Australia for a snowboarding vacation, she never expected that the guy about to sit next to her at a bar would be the one.
Kevin was snowboarding too and, ironically, had just watched the movie Lost in Translation, “A story about a guy meeting a girl in a bar in Japan,” he said.
He sat down next to her and they started talking.
They had dinner that night and within two hours were best friends.
“We were inseparable,” said Kimberley. It wasn’t romantic at first, she explained. They were just great friends who went snowboarding and hung out.
A romance developed and, although vacations end, thankfully their relationship didn’t because Kevin’s next destination – something he’d planned before Japan – was Sydney.
They moved in together and, within eight months, Kimberley knew they’d get married. “It just felt so easy.”
They arrived together in Canada in early 2016 after a significant amount of paperwork.
“You know you want to be with someone when you go through that,” said Kim.
Respect, said Kevin, keeps them strong because when you really respect and love each other you can give yourself fully.
Friendship is also a strong foundation, adds Kimberley. “Romance can fade and if you don’t have that friendship you can lose sight of who you’re with and what makes you happy.”
They still love to snowboard together and enjoy collecting wine. They also plan to marry but want to wait until family and friends from Ontario and Australia can join them.
30s: Eddie and Brittany Carter
Eddie met a local girl, Brittany, during the Stanley Cup Playoffs in 2011, which he watched at her house, having been invited there by a friend.
Unfortunately, the only thing that caught his attention that night was the game. However, the group that gathered that night became friends and they started hiking together.
A relationship grew and they married on July 11, 2015 after Eddie asked his future father-in-law’s permission during a trip to the dump with some dry wall from their house renovation, Brittany explained, laughing.
He proposed that night at a cabin up in Whistler, in front of a roaring fire after a lovely meal out.
“I’d suggested we open some wine,” said Brittany. But, instead, Eddie suggested champagne which, she said, seemed odd at the time.
“I thought, ‘Why would we do that?’ And then he proposed.”
Fittingly, their first anniversary was spent camping at the top of Wedge Mountain.
“There was nobody around. It was beautiful,” said Brittany.
They both share common values and are very close with family and friends (they visit Brittany’s parents each weekend for Sunday dinner). Both of which, they feel, bring strength to their marriage.
Neither embrace Hallmark holidays, they agree, and Brittany explained she much prefers the small things like when Eddie folds the laundry or brings home an unexpected bunch of flowers.
“It’s the thoughtful little things that Eddie does that makes me think, ‘Gosh, I love you.’”
Their first baby is due in a few months, which they both agree will be the start of a new adventure together.
40s: Christy and Joe DeFranco
Christy and Joe met in a bar in 1998 and immediately hit it off.
“We talked all night,” said Christy. “The next morning, he picked me up and it’s been pretty much 24/7 since then.”
They moved in together after three months and married in Hawaii six years later, among close friends and family.
Compatibility, fun and laughter, said Joe, were the foundations of their relationship.
What keeps them strong, added Christy, is communication, compromise and openness.
Letting go of things too, said Joe, is huge. “You’re always going to have moments of contrast but you just learn from it, try not to dwell on it and move on.”
Team work and showing appreciation are also key, they agreed.
“It’s like a partnership,” said Joe. “You’ve got to become a team and support one another.”
“Also, let them know you appreciate the things they do as a partner, a dad, a friend,” said Christy.
Both prefer the small things over big romantic gestures, such as homemade muffins, fresh coffee together or after-dinner walks.
They have nine-year-old twin girls and are working on opening Squamish’s first woodfired pizza restaurant.
Life is busy and they’ve been through a lot, said Christy, but added, “I can’t imagine life without this guy.”
“Every day we’re grateful and love each other,” added Joe.
“Attraction is a big thing but how you get along during the day and how you talk, those things are way more important. Find someone who makes you laugh or makes you happy because that’s the every day.”
50s: Doris and Robert Suarez
Doris and Robert initially met in school in the Philippines, but parted ways at grade six.
However, they were brought back together when Doris’ cousin, who played baseball with Robert, decided they should form a math study group.
After studying together, Robert would immediately phone Doris as soon as he got home.
“I liked him a little bit… and we’d talk over the phone for about an hour,” she said.
They attended separate universities, but he visited her at home every Sunday and, in her second year, asked her to go steady.
“I had the ring already prepared. It’s like a promise ring – a promise to be faithful,” Robert said.
She said “yes” on her 18th birthday and they married on May 1, 1989 at a church wedding with over 300 friends and family (Doris is one of six children and Robert is one of seven).
They have five children together (four boys and a girl) and share a strong family bond through music, said Doris, who sings and plays multiple instruments, as do her children.
“It helps give us strength. When we’re not feeling very good we jam, or if there’s been a minor misunderstanding, we sing.”
They also get together every night as a family to talk about challenges or concerns.
“Communication, music, trust, commitment, respect, forgiveness, unconditional love and humility,” are the secrets to a happy marriage, Doris said. Being open about finances too, she added, is important as it can be the source of so many problems.
“There are no secrets,” said Robert, who adds that although they are different, they haven’t tried to change one another.
60s: Glenda and Larry Bouwman
Larry and Glenda met in high school in Squamish and have been together ever since.
Their wedding took just six weeks to put together, but it was fabulous, said Glenda.
“We were planning on getting married the following summer… but thought why are we waiting? We took down the calendar to figure when we could do it and six weeks later we were married.”
This November is their 46th wedding anniversary.
“I’ve been adored every day of my life, and he has been too,” said Glenda. “He’s a very romantic man… He does things that he knows I like. He just cares for me.”
Working together, said Larry, is key to a strong relationship. “It’s not always about you. It’s about both of you.”
They have three children together and spent summers as a family at their rustic lakeside cabin in the Cariboo, built by Larry.
Now that they’ve retired, they spend eight months of the year there and love every moment.
“When we first went up, we had no electricity. There was an outhouse, an outdoor shower, propane lights and a propane stove,” said Larry. Since retiring, they’ve made it more comfortable and enjoy having family come out to visit (they now have eight grandchildren).
Always learning and staying busy, they agree, is important to their relationship and together they share a love of gardening and building crafts and woodwork for the home.
Though what gives their marriage even greater strength, they agree, is God who they’ve always put first, said Glenda. “He’s blessed us with three amazing girls, amazing grandkids and an amazing life.”
70+: Horst and Heidi Wolter
Horst was born in Berlin, Germany, but relocated to nearby Stuttgart in 1946 after the Second World War, to the street where Isabella lived.
“We were practically neighbours… she was 10 years old and I was 12,” he said.
“Our parents were very poor,” said Horst. “We had nothing, so Heidi was the perfect deal for me. I could borrow her bike and her skis,” he joked.
Horst would also sit on her doorstep playing the harmonica, Heidi remembered.
After leaving school, they started apprenticeships – Horst as a mechanic and Heidi as a hairdresser – and he would meet her at the train after work.
“I could never shake him,” Heidi laughed. But Horst believes it was destiny.
They married in 1956 and came to Canada searching for a better life away from another potential war. Horst came alone at first, where he worked in Manitoba paying off his passage. Just a few months in, an accident that broke his back left him in a full body cast.
After tracking him down through immigration, Heidi set off on the voyage to Manitoba with their 18-month-old, where they met up and lived for a while before moving to Calgary.
They had two more children and moved around with work until settling in Britannia Beach.
They recently celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary and have weathered more storms, but strength comes through mutual trust and support, said Horst. “If two people really love each other, everything comes easily.”
Together they love visiting Ricky’s Restaurant for breakfast and trips to Brennan Park Rec Centre for aquacise and the steam room.
