Ten years ago, no one would have caught Doug Brown standing in a river and practicing an elegant flick of his wrist to make his fishing line arc in the air and land gracefully in the water.
As an infantry sergeant for the Canadian Forces, he was trained in warfare, and had fought in Bosnia and the Gulf War. He was a respected and recognized soldier who was focused on his military career.
But everything changed a few years ago when Brown's wife sat him down and told him he needed to get help. He was suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), and was inches away from taking his life only he didn't know it.
Through a support program in the Canadian Forces called Soldier On, Brown was able to seek the help he needed and pull himself back from the brink.
Through his rehabilitation, he found fly-fishing, and recently spent the day braving the four-degree waters of the Squamish River with Squamish fishing guide Clint Goyette. The trip was part of a 10-day camp that Soldier On and the Canadian Paralympic Committee had collaborated on to bring injured soldiers from Australia, Canada, the U.K. and the U.S. to Whistler and Squamish for some winter sport recreation.
Before donning his boots and waders, Brown admitted just how much trouble he was in when he returned from Bosnia.
I knew I needed help 10 minutes after I got back (from Bosnia), but if you ask my wife she would tell you it took 10 years, he said.
He leaned over and picked up a piece of metal about a quarter of an inch wide. See how wide that is? I was that far away from killing myself. But I didn't even know it.
Along with Brown and Goyette on the excursion was Lyndon Goveas, producer with the Canadian Forces Personnel and Family Support Services. He was filming Brown's fishing trip to help promote Soldier On.
When Brown came out of Bosnia, there was (no support) there for him, Goveas said. Now with Afghanistan, there is a lot of support through programs like Soldier On.
Even so, it can take up to three years for a soldier suffering from PTSD to step forward and ask for help.
It's the simplest thing to do, ask for help. But try and tell that to a warrior, Brown said. I was treating everyone at home badly, but my work was writing me up like I was the best soldier on Earth, because that's what they wanted to see; that was a good infantry sergeant.
Before Soldier On, (those suffering from PTSD) stayed home and suffered. They suffered because no one understood them and there was a perception that help was needed only for physical injuries. Sometimes the stressful images you see out there are more debilitating than physical injuries.
For Brown, fly-fishing is peaceful and offers him a chance to forget all he has seen on the battlefield.
The only thing you're thinking about out there, the only thing you have to think about, is the cast. Nothing else.
Although Goyette and Brown didn't catch any fish that day, they didn't view the day as a loss.
That's why it's called fishing and not catching, Goyette joked.
For more information on the Soldier On program go to cfpsa.com.
