A dozen people gathered at a house in downtown last week to eat cake, drink tea and discuss a topic that can be tough – death.
Ashling Amato invited friends, acquaintances and strangers to Squamish’s first Death Café, which acts as a discussion group rather than a grief support or counselling session.
The objective of the café, which has 3,737 counterparts in 38 countries across North America, Europe and Australia, is to increase awareness of death while helping people make the most of their finite lives.
There is no theme. Instead, participants can discuss whatever they want.
“We usually talk about death when it happens and it is often uncomfortable. We are disconnected to death these days, unlike in the past.” said Amato. “At my house, it wasn’t a heavy, serious evening. There were some tears but a lot more laughter.”
She got the idea of hosting a Death Café from Stephen Garret, who holds one at a coffee shop in Maple Ridge every six weeks and came to Quest University to do a talk last year after publishing a book called When Death Speaks. He has prepared a “death binder” that contains specific instructions about what to do when he dies, including where to place his remains.
“Maple Ridge is the closest Death Café to us, so I thought Squamish needs one,” said Amato. She plans to hold the next café in mid-January at a coffee shop, which is the usual venue, instead of at her home.
“It was a great night for all of us. I witnessed some healing and good conversation,” she said.
The evening started just after 7 p.m. and ended two hours later, but the group stayed to chat until nearly 11 p.m.
“I’m looking forward to hosting the next café. It gives people a change to talk about a topic that can be taboo but shouldn’t be,” said Amato, whose daughter died during labour six years ago.
“I held her and she was beautiful. I’m so happy I got the chance to.”
She said it’s good for a person to die in a peaceful state, so talking about death before it happens is important.
For more information about the next Death Café, email Amato at [email protected].
