After his first daughter was born, James Brims took five months of paternity leave and recommends the experience to any new dad.
His wife took the first nine months off work, then he took care of Isabella until past her first birthday.
“I suggest taking the last three months. The amount of confidence you will gain is great,” said Brims, who tries to regularly take his daughters, aged three and one, to Strong Start, a drop-in program in Squamish for children and their caregivers. “The idea for me is to play a really positive role in my daughters’ lives, as much as possible.”
Like Brims, more dads in Squamish are taking time off work to care for their children, especially in the past decade, said Suzie Soman, early child development services director with Sea to Sky Community Services.
The cost of child care and the lack of spots available are changing how mothers and fathers go back to work. On average, daycare costs nearly $60 a day or $1,200 for full-time care per month, according to statistics kept by Sea to Sky Community Services. This number often climbs between $1,400 and $1,500 for children under three years old because it’s more expensive to run these programs.
Finding care for children aged 12 to 36 months is extremely challenging, said Lisa McIntosh, a child care resource and referral consultant in Squamish.
Parents are searching for creative childcare solutions. For instance, some partners work opposing schedules so one of them is home at all times, or mothers work from home to earn extra money. And, like the Brims family, some moms go back to work while the dads stay at home with the children. “There are a lot of shared roles,” said Soman.
She is seeing an increase in fathers taking part in early childhood programs such as Strong Start; Health Pregnancy Outreach, a weekly drop-in discussion group; Mother Goose, a 10-week class that introduces rhyming, songs and storytelling; and Nobody’s Perfect, a program for parents who are isolated to explore how to meet their child’s needs.
Last year, 200 fathers in the corridor attended a program through Sea to Sky Community Services.
“For a while, I’ve noticed more dads dropping off and picking up their children than in the past. In the last eight to 10 years, I’ve noticed they’re playing a much bigger role,” said Soman.
When his first-born daughter was younger and he was on paternity leave, Brims brought her to Mother Goose and, although he was often the only dad there, he quickly felt welcomed by all the moms.
“At first it felt a bit awkward being the only male out of so many women, but I began integrating with them and soon I was asking questions about parenting – about diapers, naps or that I hadn’t slept – things that don’t matter if you’re a man or a woman.
“They really took me under their wing and soon I got an email saying a bunch of them were meeting at a park.”
Soman had one dad as a client who took the whole, year-long paternity leave while his wife worked from home. He attended the Healthy Pregnancy Outreach program to discuss infant development.
“You can’t walk down the street and not see a dad walking with a stroller,” Soman said.
She is also seeing more grandfathers bring their grandchildren to the programs. The goal, she said, is to make parenting programs at Sea to Sky Community Services inclusive of both dads and moms so men feel comfortable taking part.
For the preschool’s Mother’s Day Tea, for instance, the number of dads participating has gone up because more moms are busy working during the day.
Fathers will play an integral role in bringing Squamish’s Children’s Charter to life, said Julia Black, program coordinator of Sea to Sky Putting Children First.
Elementary students and other children in Squamish are coming up with a list of children’s rights that will be formed into the charter. Once completed, it will serve as a document that guides local businesses, organizations and the District of Squamish in applying an early childhood and family-focused lens on policies.
So far, children have listed to “feel safe,” “to love who I want to,” “play outdoors,” “a good education,” and “spend time with mom and dad” as some of the rights they hold most dear.
“If a child says, for instance, that they have ‘the right to play,’ fathers will be engaged with this, and the charter will help find ways to support this,” said Black, who points to the website www.thedadvibe.com, written by a dad from Kelowna, as a good resource for fathers.
Like Brims, Patrick Wilson, a father in Squamish, alternates with his wife to care for his two young daughters. They go to daycare two days a week when both parents are at work.
“Daycare is expensive, so we hand off the girls when the other one isn’t working,” said Wilson, who tries different activities regularly, including going to the library and the park and participating in Strong Start and Home Depot’s children’s workshops.
“We moved here from Whistler and got on the daycare waitlist while my wife was still pregnant – the waitlists are that long.”
While Wilson does see other dads at early childhood programs in Squamish, he said he would like to see more participate with their kids.
“The more dads, the better.”
