To passersby on Cleveland Avenue, the two women greeting each other with a hug appear to perhaps be old friends meeting for lunch or sisters, meeting again after time apart.
Marcia Kent and Greta Gajda are in fact friends and sisters of a kind, but their bond goes much deeper than any stranger could guess.
Kent was recently a surrogate mother, more officially called a gestational carrier, for Gajda and her husband, Martin. In January however, Kent miscarried at seven weeks along and can no longer safely be a surrogate.
The two women have cried and laughed and supported each other through it all, they told The Chief.
And now they are coming forward together in the hopes of finding another surrogate.
“My husband and I are still hoping to have a child,” Gadja said. “It is not about completing me it is about having the opportunity to parent again.”
Gajda has a 20-year-old son from a previous relationship, but always wanted more children, especially since meeting Martin when her son was about 12 years old.
The couple isn’t closed to the option of adopting, but want to do everything possible to try and have a child biologically related to Martin.
In the quest to have a baby, Gajda miscarried a total of six times, she said, and discovered she has a rare condition called, chronic histiocytic intervillositis. The bottom line of the condition is that she can’t carry a child to term. She also has premature ovarian failure, meaning any eggs she has left are not viable for in vitro fertilization.
A woman in Squamish came forward to donate her eggs for Gajda.
The egg extraction procedure took place on Easter Sunday last year. “On Easter Sunday I got Easter eggs from my wonderful donor,” said Gajda, with a laugh.
Gajda said the ideal new surrogate would be someone she and Martin could communicate really well with.
Surrogates should be at least 21 years of age and have at least one child of her own that resulted from an uncomplicated pregnancy.
Kent told The Chief her motivation to be a carrier was empathy with the Gajdas’ struggle with infertility – Kent and her husband, Squamish municipal councillor Peter Kent, had their own fertility struggles before they had their twin sons.
Kent stressed that the husbands were just as involved in the process as the women. “It was not just about Greta and I,” Kent said. “This was a four person venture.”
She said her miscarriage this past winter was devastating for all of them.
“That was heartbreaking,” she recalled, her voice breaking with emotion as she recalled the Gajdas bringing flowers and chocolates to her house after the loss.
Despite the sad ending, Kent says she would encourage anyone interested in being a surrogate to pursue it. She called being a carrier a beautiful “gift” to be able to offer.
“Nothing would make me happier than to see these guys have a baby,” she added.
The first in-vitro fertilization birth made headlines in 1978. The first successful donor egg pregnancy was reported in 1983 and the first gestational surrogate pregnancy took place in 1986.
The laws and rules around surrogacy vary from country to country.
In Canada, as in Denmark, Ireland, Israel, the Netherlands and the United Kingdom, allow altruistic surrogacy, meaning the surrogate cannot profit from her role.
Surrogates can be reimbursed for costs related to the pregnancy and birth.
Dr. Sonya Kashyap, the medical director of Genesis Fertility Centre, an In vitro fertilization and infertility clinic in Vancouver, says the centre’s clients include women with medical conditions that prevent them from conceiving or carrying a child to term; single individuals and same-sex couples.
A woman’s eggs are as old as she is while a man’s sperm is about two months old, which puts women at a disadvantage biologically, Kashyap noted.
With more couples waiting to start families, this has increased the need and desire for reproductive assistance, she said.
It is estimated one in six couples struggle with fertility in Canada.
Anyone interested in being a surrogate for the Gajdas can email [email protected].
