Neal Kindree was living the dream until a debilitating knee injury slowly pulled his mountain bike racing career to a grinding halt.
What was expected to be a temporary break for surgery and recovery last season turned into the end for one of the country's most promising young cross-country racers. Now the 22-year-old National Champion and elite international competitor is trying to restore purpose to a life thrown painfully off course.
Sitting in his parents' Garibaldi Highlands home on Sunday (May 10), Kindree opened his hands to reveal palms covered in cuts and blisters, which are equally telling signs of a rock climber as his shaggy hair and patchy scruff.
A hand-carved wooden ladle hung above the kitchen sink. A chessboard carved from yellow and red cedar sat nearly finished in the garage. More signs of his newest activities.
"I like being reminded of what I can do, not what I can't do," he said.
"I had a job racing. It was kind of the dream thing. I lost the dream and lost a lot of my hobbies like backcountry skiing and hiking. I lost my job - no income. It was a fairly devastating situation. I laugh because otherwise I'd probably cry."
Although Kindree's knee injury prevents him from racing he is still able cruise around on local bike trails at a slower pace. There's no sprinting up climbs but he can usually ride for about two hours.
Fortunately, his knee doesn't restrict activities like rock climbing, swimming and kayaking, to which he's refocused his energies. He's even embarking on a kayaking tour from Vancouver Island to Bella Coola this summer with a couple of buddies.
As he sat at the kitchen table, Kindree extended his leg and a loud "click" promptly followed. He explained how his injury manifested during training in November, 2007.
Kindree started experiencing a tearing sensation in his right knee, which was originally more distracting than painful. But it gradually became worse as his patella would snap over something every time he straightened his leg, causing great pain.
He couldn't train properly for last season and early results like a 16th placing at the first Canada Cup in Bromont, Que. reflected the injury. He was unable to finish the next Canada Cup at Mont Tremblant and announced the end of his season soon after.
Doctors couldn't determine the source of the problem so Kindree underwent arthroscopic surgery last June, which led to a second surgery to remove scarred tissue believed to be causing the problem. However, the knee simply became more debilitating.
The realization that he would likely never race again struck hard, said Kindree.
"Basically I got really angry at first and fairly depressed. It was bad," he said. "I sort of secluded myself from the biking world. I don't know. It's kind of hard for me to be around that scene now. I don't deal with it very well."
Fellow local racers like Dwayne Kress can sympathize with Kindree's loss.
"It was who Neal Kindree was," he said. "It becomes part of your psyche, it becomes part of your personality, it's who you are, and when you can't do it anymore, you're definitely going though a mourning period where there's a loss of your identity for a while," he said, adding that Kindree's contribution to local riding remains.
"It's a sad thing for a lot of people in Squamish to see because he inspired a generation that's coming up through the high school league."
Kindree still looks back fondly on his accomplishments, which include becoming the U23 National Champion, overall Canada Cup winner and an eighth place finish at the Junior World Championship.
His biggest triumph was fostered by a boy's dream, he said. When he was six years old he decided that he would someday win the Test of Metal. He completed his first Test of Metal at age 12, and earned his first of two titles at age 19.
The realization that he'd finally accomplished what he set out to do 13 years earlier didn't hit him until he was washing the trail dirt off in the shower. He still remembers the moment.
"It was just the most overwhelming, joyous feeling. I've never felt anything like it in my life and I truthfully don't know if I ever will again. I know that's terrible to say and there are a lot of things I haven't experienced yet, but I can't imagine ever feeling that way again."
