Skylar Bakes wants to ensure the death of Leelah Alcorn is not forgotten in Squamish.
Bakes, a Grade 12 Sea to Sky Alternative School student, stood outside Extra Foods with a sign for two days to help spread awareness and honour the memory of the transgender youth who committed suicide by vehicular impact on Dec. 28.
Alcorn, a 17-year-old former resident of Ohio, posted a suicide note on her Tumblr account on Dec. 28 explaining her plight and the reason she chose to end her life.
She was sent to Christian conversion therapists by her parents and eventually asked for transition treatment but was denied permission.
Her suicide note started a flurry of online activity, with many questioning the way society treats transgender individuals.
Bakes is one of those individuals.
Although physically a female, Bakes said that he has identified as a male since around the age of 15.
“My friend came out to me as trans and I didn’t know what it was,” he said, noting he first learned of the term in Grade 8. “I looked into it after he came out, and a lot of it sounded very familiar to me.”
He considered himself a tomboy growing up, didn’t like wearing pink and remembers feeling more comfortable with shorter hair.
“I remember refusing to wear dresses, and then in Grade 3 I shaved my head for Balding for Dollars without telling my parents,” he said. “My mom wasn’t that pleased, but it felt right.”
The news of Alcorn hit Bakes hard.
“I hadn’t even heard of conversion therapy before,” he said, noting it’s only legal in a few states. “Why even attempt something that’s obviously not going to work? If it did work, it would be from shaming someone so utterly they’re horrified to do anything.”
He said Alcorn wanted her death to mean something, and Bakes did his best to make as many people as he could aware of her plight.
“It’s unfortunate that it took a public death for me to think about this,” he said. “I want people to know transgender people exist. I don’t understand why it wasn’t talked about in school – if I had learned about it, it would have helped. I didn’t figure out my gender for a long time.”
The reaction from Squamish residents was mostly positive, Bakes said.
“A lot of people gave me thumbs up or smiled,” he said. “And the people I spoke to were positive. Even if they didn’t say anything, maybe I got some of them to think.”
Bakes said the transgender population in Squamish is bigger than you’d think. He knows of at least three people in his graduation class who identify as transgender and said education is needed so everyone can feel comfortable.
“We’re allowed to go by our chosen name at school, but a lot of the teenagers can be rude,” he said. “People don’t understand and ask rude questions, but I think it’s a lack of education that makes people jerks about it. I think the education system is failing in certain areas.”
He said he’d like to see students in elementary school be made aware of what transgender is.
He’d also like to see some sort of transgender community develop in Squamish.
“Howe Sound has the Diversity Club, which has been great, but it doesn’t specifically focus on gender and trans folks,” he said. “It’s an in-school group and full of people you go to school with, and maybe you don’t want them to know.”
Bakes said he has received support from his friends and family, which has helped.
“Some friends were confused but mostly supportive,” he said. “I came out to my stepfamily this Christmas and I was worried someone was going to yell at me or ask me to leave, but they were cool about it. My stepmom calls me Skylar now but my dad still just calls me his kid.”
Born as Ileah Bakes, Skylar eventually wants to transition to a full physical male. The process involves hormones and surgeries and is not available in Squamish.
“There’s no way to get gender and hormone therapy here,” he said. “You have to go to the city and so many of us can’t make it out there. It would be great to have a doctor here to help us.”
Bakes said education is key, and he hopes he has made a little dent in letting people know more about transgender people.
“I want people to know that gender isn’t just boy or girl,” he said. “There’s an entire spectrum - gender is in your mind, not your pants.”
