Lesbian comedian Elvira Kurt uses jokes to break the barriers of discussion about what it’s really like to be gay.
In her keynote address at Howe Sound Secondary School Saturday for Squamish’s first pride event, Kurt peppered her talk with references to her life as a “bull dyke” – which elicited laughter because Kurt is petite. She was speaking to more than 100 people gathered for the Someone Like Me conference organized by Safe ‘N’ Sound.
Margo Dent, one of the organizers, was excited about the turnout. “We have succeeded,” said Dent, who was wearing a rainbow tie. “The awareness is out there.”
Dent has lived with her lesbian partner for 18 years. “We live happily, openly and freely in this town, and we hope this will be the same for others,” she said, adding that Safe ‘N’ Sound Squamish received “massive” support for the conference from sponsors.
A parade was not part of the day, she noted. “We wanted it to be more than a mock and gawk.”
Kurt said it was “amazing” to be at “the first gay thing in Squamish.”
“You need a chant,” she told the crowd. “We’re here-ish, we’re queer-ish, we’re Squamish.”
The comedian had been at a posh Sea to Sky Gala fundraiser for the planned Centrepoint community services building at the gondola the evening before and said she felt out of place there. “It felt weird. Where is gayness? It wasn’t there.”
She said it’s easy for teens to believe they are the only queer ones in town when gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgendered people are not visible in the community.
But she said people here are tough, as shown during the recent rockfall, and there’s no need to be tentative. “In Squamish, you’ve got the omens. Things fall. You deal with it.”
Straight people sometimes assume she doesn’t actually aspire to be a “bull dyke” even though she purposely dresses in men’s clothes and boots. “Fancy-pants people feel sorry for you. They whisper, ‘You just need a little lipstick and some pumps.’
“I don’t fit in. So what? Nobody does. But nobody wants to admit that they don’t fit in.”
She said it’s easy for her, at age 53, not to worry about fitting in, but it’s not easy for everyone.
Mere tolerance is not the answer, said Kurt. “I tolerate a pimple…. We need more. It’s not about requesting to take up space.”
Kurt asked about a baby in the audience and reflected how easy it is to be a young child compared to adulthood, which can be difficult. “Everyone in my age group looks like angry raccoons trying to get through their days…. When you were a kid, it took nothing to make you happy. A balloon tied to your wrist was like all the holidays.”
Kurt also talked about the challenge of being a mother and joked that before her daughter was born to her partner, she told people: “We’re going to have a girl – for now,” drawing laughter from the crowd, which included transgendered people.
“It seems Squamish is a straight town,” Kurt said, joking that straight people have “questionable” morals and are OK as long as they stay away from her children.
“Apparently it’s genetic and they can’t help themselves,” she quipped.
On a more serious note, however, she said she hopes life will be easier for queer people in the next generation. “Let’s hope it’s different for the kids.”
The conference also included workshops on sexual health options, queer competency to teach about diversity, family and youth talks, and a panel discussion.
“The planning committee is beyond ecstatic with the success of the day,” Dent said on Monday. She noted that the group is planning future inclusive events and is hoping to move toward not-for-profit and eventually charity status.
“As Elvira said, we have landed in Oz and are calling everyone to 'come out, come out wherever you are,'” she said.
