Parents, look carefully at the presents your children covet from under the tree this year. Those treasured gifts may just give amazing insight into the adults your children become.
Better yet, think back to your most treasured toy. Does it reflect who you became at all? If not, are you on the path you want to be, or does that childhood treasure remind you of who you wish you were?
When I look at my life today – mom of four and reporter – it seems far from where I was at various points. During my radical feminist, university-student stage, you would never have guessed I would want – never mind adore – four little people whom I quit working to care for when they were young. During my time making pizzas or selling clothes, you would not have guessed I would write for a living.
But my favourite present of all time was the doll I got when I was about seven years old. I called her Sarah. She looked to be about six months old and had a new-baby smell. She had thin, blonde bangs and came with a pink christening dress and a tiny bottle you could tip and watch the milk deplete. Her body was soft and she had the cutest little toes and fingers I had ever seen. When you tipped her back, her startling blue eyes blinked. School days were spent waiting to get home to her and hoping my mom had taken good care of her while I was away. The hours I spent reading to her added up to months, I am sure. She had a cradle and blanket made especially for her. There were walks with Sarah for fresh air and nighttime snuggles. The fact I became a mom is less of a surprise, in retrospect.
Calligraphy pen and paper sets I asked and got for years hint at a future loving writing, even though reviewing my elementary school report cards, it’s surprising I graduated at all, never mind went on to university.
When I look at what my teen boys asked for as youngsters, it makes me wonder if what I see today is more a distraction off their paths brought on by adult expectations rather than a roadmap to the men they will be. As little boys, one obsessively built with Lego and stared through telescopes, another filled up list after list with animals of every sort, one preferred playing with the video recorder over any kid toy, and yet another was kept entertained for hours on end with a toy crane.
So often as children get older, we put our desires on them, as teachers, parents, loved ones. We tell kids who they should be and could be.
But as children, we don’t know any of that. We like what we like. Thinking about those early wishes is a way to strip away all external pressures.
Moms and dads, make a note of what your children ask for and treasure this year while they are little, and then compare when they turn 40. You may be surprised how easy it is to see their future selves, in retrospect.
And if you think back and aren’t doing what your childhood self would have wished, a fresh year is soon upon us; it is not too late.
