A lack of self confidence seems to be what holds many of us back from achieving more of what we'd like in our lives. Apply these four strategies if you want more confidence in your life and notice what works for you.
Be clear about what it is that you want - saying you want to "be more confident" is not a clear enough instruction for the brain. The brain needs specific information such as:
What does having more confidence mean to you? What are the benefits?
When do you want to be more confident; in what kinds of situations?
What does a confident "you" look like; sound like and how will you feel?
When do you currently feel confident? Who are you with? What are you doing? Where are you?
What one thing will you do differently when you're feeling more confident?
How will others respond to you?
Providing the answers to these questions will provide a better target for your sub conscious mind to aim for.
Identify a positive role model of confidence - someone who demonstrates the qualities and characteristics that you'd like to have.
Observe them. What it is that they do and how do they do it, specifically?
How do they think? Do they have a "can-do, will-do" attitude?
What are their beliefs? Do they believe anything is possible?
How do they communicate, verbally and non-verbally? Do they use positive, empowering language?
Finding a role model, and copying their behaviour, will give you some insight into how it feels to be confident and the results you can achieve.
Use your imagination - visualize yourself as a confident person, with the qualities you identified, behaving in the same way as your role model.
Engage your senses to identify what it feels like and what it sounds like when you're confident.
Write yourself some affirmations to support your goal (an affirmation is a strong, positive statement which you construct that will help you to feel more capable, or better about yourself. Think about what you can do; what you are learning to do and write them in the present tense). Repeat these statements daily and act as if they were true.
Surround yourself with positive people and ideas to maintain momentum and help you through the inevitable challenging times.
Don't let your mind play tricks on you. All too often the way we use our imagination creates fear or anxiety. Use it selectively to create a positive template for feeling good about yourself.
Look for indicators of progress - how will you know when you are becoming more confident?
Be attentive and notice when your confidence improves.
Celebrate small victories - give yourself credit for these.
This will strengthen your motivation and help you stay on track with your goal.
Above all, trust yourself. Know that you'll be OK whatever happens.
Hazel Morley is principal of Think Smart: Training and Coaching with Change in Mind. She can be contacted at [email protected].
