Our culture is so focused on youth that even teens entering their 20s believe they are old, and when they reach their 30s, they’re sure of it, so a 40th birthday party can feel a little like a wake.
That’s the year women break out the credit card to invest in heavy-duty anti-wrinkle creams intended to magically reverse decades of sun damage, and it’s often when we take a sudden interest in the gym as the fountain of youth. (The gym does seem to help one feel vibrant and alive, but wrinkle creams, unfortunately, are fantasy advertising; there is no magic potion.)
Oddly, it wasn’t until after I had passed 45 that I realized how young I am. That was when I had a life-changing encounter.
I had just left my job as editor of a daily newspaper, and a man who had been regularly writing me letters to the editor was upset at my departure and called the newsroom to request my phone number. My colleagues decided this man was charming and passed it along.
They were right.
When we met for lunch, I was surprised at how elderly he was and charmed by his eloquent manners and spirit for life.
He told me he was 94, and he had the manners of a gentleman from the era, making sure to pull out my chair and insisting I order dessert: “It would very much please me.” When I did, he smiled broadly, and we continued on an intellectual conversation about the importance of arts in education. He requested my advice on how to approach the local director of education to ensure there was music in the schools. A Second World War veteran, he was still fighting for what was right.
It took a moment to realize that I was less than half his age, and it was oddly like an epiphany. I felt instantly young.
I realized I might have more than half a life still to live and enjoy, and I might, like him, continue to contribute to society well into my 90s.
That fine gentleman died only a month later, but his parting gift was one of youth to those around him. He had demonstrated what it meant to embrace life fully and enjoy all ages.
That’s what I aspire to do, for all the decades ahead.
