I am completely letting Team Canada down in ski jumping in Vancouver 2010.
I've already won Gold Medals for Canada at the Winter Olympic sports of Men's Super G, Bobsleigh, Luge and a couple snowboard events.
But not ski jumping. I just can't seem to stick my landing.
I start out okay, gauging the wind, angling my body and building speed down the steep ramp until I'm soaring through the air high over the beautiful Callaghan Valley - spectators cheering and whooting loudly.
Then I screw up the landing somehow and end up tumbling like a ragdoll in agonizing slow motion and abject humiliation.
I also usually spill all the Cheetos out of the bowl on my stomach.
Published by Sega, Vancouver 2010 is the "Official Video Game of the Olympic Games" (much like Cheetos are the "Official Snack Food of Couch Potato Athletes") and available for Playstation 3 and Xbox 360 consoles.
You can compete (with friends or online) in 14 different events ranging from the aforementioned Men's Super G, Bobsleigh, Luge and Ski Jump, to Ladies Freestyle Aeriels, Snowboard Cross, Ladies Speed Skating and more
You won't find hockey at this Vancouver 2010, which is a shame. You won't find figure skating or curling either, so maybe Sega had trouble hiring a computer guy who could animate an ice rink. Who knows?
More likely it would have cost too much to add an Olympic hockey experience to the game, not to mention NHL copyrights for players, and nobody in their right mind wants to play a figure skating or curling video game.
Vancouver 2010 does deliver a thoroughly enjoyable simulation of competing at the 2010 Winter Olympic Games, though.
The graphics are quite gorgeous (on the Playstation 3 version I played), with photorealistic athletes and actions, and impressive depictions of the key venues.
The Callaghan looks gorgeous, as does Whistler Mountain and thHill-21-07e familiar surrounding scenery.
My only gripe, however, is with the game's totally unrealistic depiction of Cypress Mountain. It shows tons of fluffy snow all over the place, and fresh powder drifts down out of the heavens.
Snow on Cypress who are they kidding?
It's unfortunate that Olympic sports games rarely get the hype and attention that other releases get in the video game world, because this is actually a decent game that challenges your skills adequately, looks nice and is entertaining.
Someone obviously worked hard on this game, but even here in the middle of the real live 2010 Games, of the two area big box stores, one had never heard of it, and the other had sold out of its few copies and didn't plan on ordering more.
Luckily the Play N Trade had a copy left and was planning to get more because, y'know, they probably get the feeling people might be interested in the Vancouver 2010 game during the Vancouver 2010 Games.
For the younger set, Sega also offers a more cartoon-y "Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Winter Games" game for the Wii console and Nintendo DS handheld featuring the famous characters competing in all the familiar events at all the local venues.
Both video games are fun and interactive souvenirs of the best Winter Games ever, and offer a great way to fill in the time at home between events when the TV commentators tend to drone on.
Either way, I know I'm going to be spending a lot of the next two weeks in front of my flat screen TV.
So let the Games begin - Go, Canada, Go - and pass the Cheetos.
