Like every other mom I know, my weekends are not so much free leisure time as a time to double down on quality time as a mom.
I have rarely, if ever, reached the bottom of my mom to-do list by Monday. So, I come in to work a little defeated for having forgotten the poster board for one of my sons’ assignments – or for buying margarine rather than butter, to the horror of another.
Even though my sons are in their teens, when I get to work, I must push out worries about this child’s upcoming field trip, that son’s rebellion and swallow my aching fear I did not give one son the praise or attention he deserves.
With this in mind, likely what your mom wants most for Mother’s Day this weekend is not the flowers upsold at the local florist or the pricey, calorie-rich brunch packed in elbow-to-elbow with other overdressed families. Whether she’s one of the 72 per cent of moms who work outside the home or a stay-at-home mom, a first-time mom or a mom of many, what she wants is to know she is good enough. She wants to know her children and partner see what she gives. She wants acknowledgement that she is trying her hardest.
Despite social and political gains, women still disproportionally do much of the heavy lifting at home. Women still average 2.8 hours a day on chores as opposed to men’s 1.8, according to StatsCan.
A preschooler requires a mother’s attention once every four minutes, according to one study, so when she is home during those early years, she has to be fully present.
I would argue the she has to be just as alert during the teen years, lest she mistake “Can we have peas?” for “Can I have the car keys?” which are two totally different things requiring much different parenting responses.
And when things go wrong, it is mom who is often blamed, both within the family and society. (Notice how it is usually the mom of school shooters interviewed on TV and asked: “What went wrong?”)
So, to my mom, Karon, and to all the biological moms, stepmoms, adopted moms, gay moms, trans-moms, bi-moms, single moms, and all the moms in-between, we see what you do.
Thank you, and Happy Mother’s Day.
