Reporter Ben Lypka is away this week on vacation, so unexpectedly I find myself in the position of having to write some 400 or so words about something I feel very opinionated about... and that you'll find interesting to read as well before using it to line the cat's litter box, bird cage or possibly wrap fish.
What with it being spring and all, and the recent bear/dog incident at Garibaldi Springs Golf Course, I considered writing something about the importance of keeping your dog on a leash. But I figured it would likely come off more preachy than pithy, and nothing I say will make someone reconsider the notion that their dog is special and somehow above the bylaw because they are "good" off leash.
I also didn't relish the thought of getting less-than-cheerful emails from the "off-leash" crowd, so I gave that subject a pass.
Then as I read the sign at my child's daycare saying several kids had contracted chicken pox, I thought I'd start up a big ol' discussion about the importance of vaccinating your kids and not listening to fringe, conspiracy theory, and non-science.
Yeah, right after I go kick a grizzly bear in the private parts, and tell a West Coast mom to cover up while breastfeeding. Actually, given a choice, I'd rather kick the grizzly... I'm not stupid.
So, there are a few subjects off my list so far due to fear of opening up a can of worms, when really I'm more of a "fake-snake-jumping-out-of-a-can" sort of guy.
There's always my old standby where I wax humorously about the lack of driving skills in the Lower Mainland. But, I've actually adapted over the years to just expect the other guy to be oblivious, distracted or a jerk, so I don't get frustrated anymore. Actually, every now and again, a courteous or well-trained driver pleasantly surprises me. I usually ask them how long they're visiting B.C.
But again... too preachy, and despite all my best efforts, I was not recently elected Pope. Although you have to admit that this Francis guy who got the job is so far showing that he's pretty much the real deal... and basically axing any future Pontiff-related humour columns I may have had in mind.
Thanks a lot, Frank.
Really, the only one thing I feel strongly about this week is coming up with 400 or so words for this column... and it appears I've just done that.
So, I guess in conclusion, I'd like to say leash up your dog, jab your kid, drive better, two thumbs up your Pope-ness and now on to the litter box.
