In regards to the article of Steffanie [Lawrence] and her mother speaking out in the Feb. 15 edition of The Chief.
I sat here this morning drinking my coffee, missing my daughter hoping she is having a wonderful day at her new school, in a new town, making new friends — being a teenager again.
Worrying about the things she should be fretting over that a young teen girl should, how her hair looks, what jeans to wear, packing up her homework to hand in and racing to catch the bus.
As I read the article this morning, it hit very close to my home and heart.
Last April, I got a call that my thriving happy — or so I thought — 14 year old had tried to take her life.
My world crashed around me, everything I thought I knew was wrong.
From that day on, our family and world would change.
I was able to have my daughter kept at our local hospital for five days.
In those days I learned my daughter was doing crystal meth, drinking and hanging out with a much older male who allows young teen girls to “crash” at his home. My daughter was so far away from where I thought she was. I was blindsided. I began the fight to save her. Through the next seven months, I fought hard for my daughter with doctors, social workers, countless counsellors, the local RCMP, and the local high school. She was running away, not attending school and continuing on a path of self destruction.
Once a week, while I was at work, she and her friends would break into our home and steal to feed her addiction, that is the only way I knew she was alive.
I set up cameras in order to catch them, but even still, the police explained how hard it is to press charges against your child.
I was willing to do so to force her to get help. I drove countless hours around our small town day and night looking for her, to plead with her to come home and receive help. As parents, our hands are bound and there is no help available as I was reminded day in and day out. I felt like doors kept closing and no one was listening. As I was pleading for help, the government ministry offered counselling, but not much more, even though they saw the harm she was causing herself, but continued to remind me “you can’t force your child to go.”
Our local walk-in clinic told me about a youth detox in another town. I found my daughter on the streets and drove her there under different assumptions and within four days they called she had broken house rules and needed to be picked up and discharged.
Just pick her up, and we are done. As soon as we returned home she left. My child became sick from using and finally called home two weeks later, As soon as she was healthy again, she left. I called the police, the ministry and a local outreach program, there was nothing I or anyone could do.
I went and learned how to use a Naloxone kit and I had two in my home one in my car and one in my purse — just in case she called and needed help, something no parent should have to do.
I knew if something didn’t change my daughter would die. I had to get her safe, I had to get her away from the area and people she knows, I had to make a choice, So I reached out to an extended family member and asked if she would allow my daughter to stay with her, a new town, a new school a fresh start.
She agreed as did my daughter.
I am hopeful this will work. It’s only been 24 days, but my child is not using and is safe for the time being.
Our system is flawed to say the least. Unfortunately, Brenda’s story is the same countless other parents.
It is happening more and more and becoming all to frequent in the news.
I lived in Squamish for 20 years but moved away 14 years ago and no matter where you go, this is an epidemic.
I now live in a small community on the island, and it’s here — it’s everywhere.
I was naive thinking my child would never do drugs or self-harm, but she did. I never thought my child would overdose, but she did. I never thought my child would hurt herself, but she did. I worry every day she will relapse and we will lose her.
As one parent to another and many more who are going through the same battle, Brenda is a strong woman fighting for something to change. We all need to stand up and fight with her.
Name withheld for legal reasons
