I’ve always struggled in school, academically and socially. However, when I started attending Howe Sound Secondary in September of 2018, I began enjoying schoolwork and being with my peers and teachers. I ask my teachers lots of questions because I have trouble navigating schoolwork on my own, straight off the bat.
With online school, I have less direct access to my teachers and I feel lonely without my peers.
Since school got set up online, I’ve been having a lot of trouble self-motivating.
I find that I have less reason to get up in the morning. I’ve realized that doing work on my own is a painful process and even with instructions, I have trouble getting started without the support of another person.
Without a strict school schedule, my life is off-balance, confusing, and slow. I start doing schoolwork at a random hour, I eat a lot and at random intervals throughout the day, and every once in a while I walk the dog in order to get out of the house.
Not having a rigid schedule lets me slack off, therefore I’m not learning properly.
My family and I have been self-isolating for weeks, and I miss my friends. I’ve never been good at responding to virtual communications and now that it’s the only way of communicating with my friends, I’m drifting from them. My friends are night owls — I am not — so when they want to talk, I am going to sleep.
Despite missing social interactions, I also have too much of it. My aunt and cousins are currently staying with my family. We have trouble finding alone time.
Having the internet accessible to me 24/7, and having those surrounding me also absorbing information, causes my mind to be bombarded and overcrowded. I have a dire need for peace, which is not coming to me no matter what I do. I am scared for the health of those I care about, my relationships, and my mental health.
I wish that I could go out and meet my friends for a coffee. I wish that I could go to school, be around people, and learn. I wish that I could go out and pass by strangers on the street without having to worry about getting too close. All things I took for granted before now.
Grade 11, Squamish