I love chatting with moms and dads about all things related to parenthood. It’s what we need to do to continue to grow and learn, because, let’s face it, ofter we are sucking wind.
We are all sleep deprived. Most of us are under-nourished – I know you’ve considered a dried Cheerio picked off the arm of your toddler’s sweater a legitimate snack at one point. And listening to the beginner version of Ode To Joy performed 20 times in a row? That’s a touch of sophistication, my friend. You used to go to the symphony, didn’t you?
We all need a little something to challenge our diminishing (diminished?) brain capacity don’t we?
Hearing about the ups and downs, the struggles and joys, helps me see every parent as the multi-dimensional being he or she is. As one mom so eloquently put it: “We are all in the trenches.” Fortunately, most of us still get shore leave from time to time.
Do you see? I can’t even keep my clichés straight anymore.
Anyway, the other day my friend Tash suggested I write a column on how, as parents, we seem to judge one another a lot. “Great idea,” I thought, “judgmental people suck.”
But seriously, it truly is a pet peeve of mine and I wish everyone could simply be more accepting of others. Then I remembered this thing.
A mom who I casually know came up to chat at the lake this summer and not long into our conversation poked fun at herself for the fact that her daughter was frolicking in the shallow water wearing her life jacket. And I felt like a total jerk.
Despite my best intentions to NOT be that person, I actually wrote an entire column condemning parents for confining their kids to PFDs while in the water. But really, what do I know? Sure, by and large I stand by my thoughts that kids can’t learn how to swim if they are artificially buoyant all the time, but what about that mom who is terrified of water? Or the dad who never learned how to swim? There are always exceptions and I can’t possibly know what is going on for another parent, so who am I to judge?
So we stood there, basking in the sun and feeling the cool waves lap at our legs, me teetering precariously as I had one foot lodged firmly in my mouth.
I know I’m not perfect. I tried to explain the best I could that I was frustrated when I wrote that – because I was feeling judged for giving my own children too much freedom, even though they are confident swimmers – and that certainly it didn’t apply to everyone.
She was kind and we laughed it off, but the lesson remains. You can’t possibly know what is best for another parent, or their child, until you’ve walked a mile in their boots, uphill in waist-deep snow, all the way to school and back.
Or something like that.
Kirsten Andrews offers Simplicity Parenting courses, workshops and private consultations in the Corridor and Lower Mainland. Visit Sea To Sky Simplicity Parenting on Facebook or www.SeaToSkySimplicityParenting.com.
