No brains, growing pains
I’ve said it maybe 1,000 times: “Don’t worry; they do grow up!”
Parents of teenagers often have that glazed-over, worn-out and beaten-down expression that says, “When will the pain end?”
Be patient; they do grow up.
I’m in the enviable position of spending my days with teenagers, yet none of them are mine. So I can watch, laugh, and shake my head knowing full well that really, it’s not my concern.
The problem with teenagers is that they don’t have brains. And I mean that quite literally; their frontal cortex has yet to fully develop, so many of the attributes that we value in humans — like the ability to reason — aren’t readily available to teenagers. We have to teach them some of those things, and the lessons sometimes take a while to stick.
I’m also in the enviable position of having already raised my children, so I can say with some authority, “Stay calm; they do grow up.”
And when they do, it’s amazing. I’ve had a few of those moments these past weeks that make me so proud of my adult children.
Last week, when my son heard on the news that teachers might be heading into a full-scale strike, he called to see how I was doing.
“I’m fine,” I said. “Just riding through it all day by day.”
He paused, then said, “Well, if you need any money, you know that I can lend you some.”
I wanted to reach my arms through the phone and hug him.
“Thank you,” I said, “I’ve got it covered.” And I don’t think he heard the cracking in the voice of a dad so proud of the thoughtfulness and generosity of his gesture.
And my daughter, who has returned to Squamish after not having lived here since graduating from high school in 2009, is calling me to go on runs, climbs and hikes. And I think that she really wants to; she really wants to spend time with her father.
She cooks with us and for us. She shares her passions, her stories.
She sings for us and tells stories of the trouble she got up to in her youth. And every time I see her, I am astounded by her beauty — both her physical beauty and the beauty of her spirit.
As Father’s Day approaches, I feel so grateful for the gift of my children. And I’m so proud of them for the way they have grown up.
