EDITOR,
This letter is in response to Kirsten Andrews' article, "Seeking the 'compassionate response'" (Millennial Mom, Chief, March 9).
Thank you Kirsten for bringing light to this all-too-sensitive subject - how to discipline our children. As a trained Neufeld educator, I would also like to help make sense of this subject. When we discipline our children in harsh ways through separation, we send kids into an alarm state as they are separated from us when they need us the most. Usually the timeout is really needed for the parents, not the kids. When a child is acting out, he/she is not acting the way we want her/him to and it can become a power of wills. Have you ever tried to have a talking to when you are flooded with emotions? It does not work until you have calmed down and been away from the scenario for a while then usually the feelings of frustration do not come forth when we are in a safe, secure attachment. This is the same for our kids. Neufeld's attachment-developmental approach is to learn how to see our kids from the inside out and to parent from a soft heart. We can look at ourselves as gardeners helping to foster a child's growth. The more we tend to the roots, the more fruit the plant will bear. For more information about Dr. Neufeld or his approach, visit his website: www.neufeldinstitute.com.
Nina Fields
Certified Counsellor, Neufeld Parent Educator
Squamish
