Opinion: Co-parenting a dog? Are you crazy?

When me and my ex broke up, way back in 2013, I went to Germany and sulked for a year, while he went on with life back in Vancouver. We’d been together four years; for three of those we had this sweet little duck toller cross we’d adopted from the SPCA on a whim. This pooch was a little bundle of sweetness and spunk — he’d been a stray dog in Prince George before he got rescued and found his way to us, and always had a streak of the street dog in him — independent, always scrounging, always skulking off to scrabble around and eat whatever might come across his nose.

When I returned to Vancouver, briefly, on a one-week stopover between Düsseldorf and a reporting job in Dawson Creek, I faced a decision. I could leave town indefinitely without reuniting with my dog, leave him to my ex and close that chapter of my life. It made the most sense. But I weakened. After being gone for a year, I was reunited with my four-year-old dog, and in that moment I knew there was no way in hell I was giving up Harley.

With that, we entered into what has been the most significant relationship of my life so far — my dog, and his dad, for better or for worse.

Since then, Harley has lived with me in a retro trailer in the woods outside Dawson Creek, where he traipsed through snowy woods and dove for rabbits, and the various wilds of East Van. Now, every two weeks, he travels between the manicured streets and dog beaches of Kitsilano and the endless hiking trails and forests of Squamish. Here, he runs along the river and laps up the icy waters with relish, and in the city, he races with hordes of other dogs at Spanish Banks. He is way more social in the city. But here, he gets to roam free and be in the wildness of the mountains every day.

Does he have a better life here or there? I don’t think so. He adores his dad, and the park and his dog buddies in the city, and he loves hanging out on the stoop and watching the world go by. Here, he gets to chase sticks in the woods and swim in the river. He has two separate lives that are filled with fun and love. And for us, we have forever-dog-sitters, and we get to split the vet bills.

Some people might think we are selfish. If I thought our arrangement was hurting him, or that his dad loves him one ounce less than I do, I wouldn’t do it. And then there’s the whole issue of step-parents and the particular pain of watching your dog welcome your ex’s girlfriend with the same gusto that he gives to you. And fights over dog food brands, and schedules. (Advice – stick to the schedule. No. Matter. What.)

But when it comes right down to it, has it been worth it? Heck, yes.

Stacy Thomas is a Squamish journalist and lover of dogs and the outdoors.