I have hesitated to write about this topic. It is still a recent and emotional memory for me, and I wasn’t sure I was ready to share it publicly. But if we can’t communicate our most compelling moments in life then we can’t gain learning from each other’s experiences. So as we celebrate the opening of the new Sea to Sky Community Hospice (adjacent to Hilltop House) on Monday, June 24, it gives me an opportunity to reflect, express my appreciation for the value of end of life care and share my family’s experience.
My father passed away in January. He had been battling prostate cancer for years but we had known for some time that the end was nearing.
No matter how much you anticipate, prepare and even plan for the end of someone’s life, it’s likely not going to happen the way you expect it to. The scenario we had played out in our minds, as a family was a prolonged period of decline and incapacitation with full-time nursing and hospice care in the home for a few months. What actually happened was a crash in dad’s health just after Boxing Day, six endless days in a hospital intensive care unit, frustration with the lack of a medical care continuum during the Christmas and New Years holiday season, before dad was finally moved to the hospice ward and died 15 hours later.
At its very core, hospice is about reducing the physical, emotional, psychosocial and spiritual suffering of patients during the dying process and supporting the patient’s family, caregivers and loved ones during a time that is psychologically and often physically overwhelming. And until you actually experience an end of life situation, it is hard to fully understand or appreciate the intrinsic value that this special care and family support provides. Once our dad was in the care of hospice it was like a weight had been lifted from us all. The tone, attentiveness, and focus of care had shifted, and we found comfort knowing that the sensitivity of the situation and dad’s compassionate care was the sole mandate of everyone around him.
I am in awe of the people who do this invaluable job every day; what resilience and strength they must have. Thank you, Judith and Hazel and Gloria and Nicole and Bill (and many more) who, through their compassion, experience, understanding, and perseverance, have shepherded the Sea to Sky Community Hospice project to its culmination. It is champions like you who make our little part of the world that much better.
