The gift-giving season is upon us. Hanukkah begins next week, Christmas and Kwanzaa are just over a month away, and other holidays follow. Parents everywhere are beginning to think about how to navigate the pending avalanche of gifts, not to mention what they can do for their kids to make the holidays memorable.
It's always around this time of year when a mother -or 10 - will approach me, somewhat wild-eyed, pleading for suggestions and direction.
"How do I keep my brother-in-law from buying the kids such noisy, battery-operated toys?" asked one. "My mom always insists on being so lavish, the kids are exhausted and spoiled and they haven't even opened a gift from us or Santa - it takes all morning," another explained anxiously. "I want to give the kids one or two really meaningful gifts, but I don't have any ideas. Everything is so commercial," complained the third this week.
One of the hardest things for some parents to do is to have a frank, honest conversation with the friend or relative in question, but if you can, it will often have a positive outcome and grow a relationship. Explain that the child loves them because of who they are and the time they spend together, not because of the gifts they give.
Here are a few suggestions I've put together that can stretch a budget, work for the environmentally conscious, and hopefully keep everyone in the family happy and connected.
Provide catalogs or links to websites that have items you prefer. Explain that the catalog is just a source for ideas (some of those items can be pricey) or let them know that whatever they choose from it that is age appropriate would be treasured. Try Natural Pod, Nova Natural Toys, and Jalu Toys, which all carry quality, natural, practical, real-life, and sturdy items. In Squamish we are lucky to have stores like Toy Corral at On The Farm and Kaos Kids that carry board games by eeBoo and Peaceable Kingdom, Anker Stone Building Sets, and Sarah's Silks.
Many items can be made from items already in the home. If the person is crafty, ask whether he or she would make an item for the child. Knitting a cap or scarf, sewing a dress for a dolly, building a wooden and wire mesh bug catcher are all things children treasure. For an older child, rather than making the item completely, ask whether they might create a kit that the child and the giver can work on together to help the child learn the skill that the person loves.
If the person enjoys nature, they can gather treasures - stumps/cut branches from the trees in the backyard, a ribbon tied around fresh flowers, a cutting from a favourite plant to grow at home, a basket full of acorns, shells or pine cones. Even better when the gift is an invitation to gather the treasures together.
Seek out the classics Solicit a favourite book from their childhood, a collection of fairy tales, Mother Goose rhymes, or animal fables. Other collections might include toys for the kitchen or workshop - real items found in their own home or toolbox.
Encourage them to shop second-hand. Not only will they find something unique and affordable, but oftentimes the money will go to a worthwhile charity.
Suggest a family photo album or memory book of the child's life: Ask them to write a memory of whatever the subject of the book is about - when mama was pregnant with you, when you were born, when you were little, what I love to do with you.
If your child is very interested in a costly sport or activity, ask for others to donate items or contribute toward the fees.
And finally, the only one who really ever works 100 per cent of the time Give up! Quit trying to change everyone else and just set the boundaries for your family. Realize that the giver gives a gift out of love and wanting to give you enjoyment. Accept the gift with love and gratitude - what you do with it after that is up to you.
If your child gets an inappropriate toy and your boundaries are pretty clear, your child will know immediately it will not be a toy that is going to be around your home for long. Let the child play with and enjoy it and when the all-too-soon time comes when the child is bored with the toy, let it go.
Kirsten Andrews offers Simplicity Parenting courses, workshops and private consultations in the corridor. Visit Sea To Sky Simplicity Parenting on Facebook, www.SeaToSkySimplicityParenting.com or email [email protected].
