On the ferry over to Hornby Island where the family and I spent eight blissful (read: sporadically blissful) days and nights camping I had an insight. No matter how stealthy you think you are as a parent, someone is ALWAYS watching.
You see this was one of those perfect examples of how no one should ever become too confident in their ability to parent, lest you have your legs kicked out from under you.
Giving my husband some sorry excuse as to why he was now in charge of two manic children, I sat ignoring the gorgeous coastal scenery in favour of fervently banging away at my laptop trying in vain to file a magazine piece that was due just after the long weekend.
You know how everything can be calm at home until the phone rings? My children cannot stand it when I am on the computer. It doesn't matter that there are seals and whales to spot, an entire ship to roam, or a backpack full of snacks they don't get at home. They want my attention the moment I have something "important" to do.
So as my five-year-old whined and pleaded for the 16th time begging for something, ANYTHING, out of the vending machine I snapped my laptop shut and looked her straight in the eyes.
"No. For the last time, I will not say it again, NO."
And then it happened. She kicked me.
And I kicked her back.
Yep. You read correctly. It was a monumental low in my parenting career. I kicked my sweet little baby square in the shin, quite possibly because I was certain no one was looking, most definitely because I was at odds with what I was doing and what I wanted to be doing. Working was not on my agenda this trip.
She looked at me in horror, mirroring I suspect, my own reaction. And then she let out a howl. It truly surprised me that she came to me her assailant for comfort. She threw her arms around my neck and moaned until the pain subsided and the shock wore off (for both of us).
Later (after I gave up writing or getting any work down whatsoever) as I was chatting with a clearly very experienced and relaxed mom about her baby's full head of hair, I noticed my darling 5-year-old jumping on the top of a bank of chairs behind us. So I calmly and sweetly said "Honey, you can't do that on the ferry. It's not allowed. You're going to have to get down. Now."
The mom looked at me and smiled knowingly.
"Ahhh, P.I.P." she said.
"Sorry?" I asked.
"Parenting in public," she smiled. "It's a tricky one."
And for the second time that afternoon my legs were kicked out from under me.
Kirsten Andrews offers courses, workshops and private consultations on Simplicity Parenting in the Corridor. New classes begin this fall, with early-bird rates being offered. For info visit www.SeaToSkySimplicityParenting.com, like it on Facebook or email [email protected].
