Soccer season kicked off in recent weeks and with both my kids plus my wife on teams this year, I’m going to be spending a whole lot of time at the Brennan Park Recreation Centre’s fields.
I won’t be alone, though, as it seems three-quarters of the town comes out on weekends to either play or watch the popular sport.
Unfortunately, so do a gaggle of geese.
Don’t get me wrong… I am a card-carrying animal lover who wouldn’t even dream of harming any furry or feathered critter, however for those honking poop factories I definitely could be persuaded to make an exception.
Last week at my daughter’s soccer game, you literally could not walk two steps on the fields without stepping in a little disgusting goose gift. It was everywhere.
I basically spent the whole game on the sidelines trying to ensure my five-year-old didn’t get covered in it.
“No, don’t sit on the grass, there’s goose poo everywhere.”
“Don’t put your jacket on the ground… it’ll get poo all over it.”
“Hey, stop kicking goose poo at that other little kid… I don’t care if he started it.”
After we got home we still had to wash all our shoes well to get the green, slimy droppings off the bottoms.
And when we weren’t avoiding the plethora of goose bombs littering the fields, we were covering our heads as squadrons of the giant black and brown birds continuously flew over us, landing nearby to, presumably, unload a fresh batch of manure on the pitch.
I seem to recall when people were freaking out over that whole killer avian flu thing, that folks were dressing up in hazmat suits just to handle a few chickens, and here we are wading through a green sea of goose turds on a daily basis.
And make no mistake; geese are totally susceptible to the H5N1 virus. They are also suspected of being the cause of an increase in high fecal coliforms at beaches.
I’m not even sure what can be done about this problem. The Squamish Adventure Centre had little luck controlling an aggressive nesting goose issue this year using rubber foxes to intimidate the birds. But maybe Brennan Park can start using noise-makers, or try rubber snowy owls (one of the few goose predators). Maybe we can have a big community-wide Christmas goose dinner… I don’t know, but something does need to be done, because like a lot of soccer field users, I just don’t want to deal with any crap again this year.
