Lately I’ve become keenly aware that the stories we tell ourselves not only define who we are, but can just as easily limit or expand who we become.
I am fortunate in that I am able to speak with countless parents and regular folk throughout my day, and just as easily can connect with others via the Internet and social media. No matter the age our children – or us for that matter – we are all trying to do the best we can with what we know. This also includes what we think we know.
From the benign to the caustic, the stories we believe are true about ourselves and our families can often hold us back from experiencing joy in our lives.
Whether you’re the mom who thinks she’s “too fat” to wear a bathing suit at the beach and forgoes experiencing the playful nature of her children in the water (or even a bit of sun on the skin), or the dad who has yet to take in one of his child’s hockey games because an evening away from work would mean he “wasn’t working hard enough for the family,” you are missing out on creating lifelong memories merely because of a story you choose to believe.
We come by these stories honestly enough. They are ideas and qualities and “values” ingrained in us from before the time we are conscious enough to realize it. Indeed many of us are still unconscious to the choices we have in this realm.
Let’s look at a simple example: A mother recently posted a question on a local forum asking what she might do with her preschooler from post-nap through bedtime for fun and entertainment. A reasonable question, but it was couched by the notion that they can’t really go outside because it’s dark at 4:30 p.m. this time of year.
Which made me wonder why we limit ourselves the way we do.
Certainly those who live in northern climes don’t stay indoors for 90 per cent of the day because it is dark outside. Or cold for that matter. Many parents here don’t encourage their children to venture outdoors because of temperatures below a random point on the thermometer, or the height of the snow at their doorstep.
But what of people who live in places like Winnipeg?
Because I grew up there, I can tell you that kids build quinzees in snow that might reach over their head – all in -30C.
The point of this isn’t to say one answer is right and the other wrong – that’s for each person to decide – but rather that we all could benefit from stopping to question why we believe the things we do. And then we would see what life would be like if we consciously chose to believe something different.
We can all just as easily create new stories for ourselves, and in short design a more fulfilling life.
If we believe that nothing can stop us from experiencing profound joy, limitless love and abundance, then that simply becomes our truth and frame of reference for all things moving forward.
